I’ve been living in Ireland for 2 months and a week now. What can I say?Friends ask me how it is living here if I have fun and go out because they barely figured out that I don’t live in a big city….
As a matter of fact, I live in a town whose habitants are less than 3000 people and that I have to ride a bus for an hour and a half to reach cork city which counts 119.518 inhabitants!There are huge shopping centres there and all sorts of shops and I actually got swept away by all the shopping there one weekend there at mahon point…there’s nothing really to see in cork museums are rather kitch, I feel one of my milestones in life was visiting dublin even if I couldn’t visit it properly the one day and a half I visited it and my second milestone when I went to dublin for the coldplay concert.
Tomorrow I’m going to visit Blarney castle after going shopping to cork for a couple of things I can’t get in dunmanway namely 8.9 dvd and a pair of jeans that won’t fall off hehe; plus I need to see what’s
wong with my ipod that is why it’s not turning on after I charge it (sounds like my boyfriend)so I could keep a sort of diary of my irish journy and wether i make or not in staying here cause I came from italy here to work as an aupair and one thing i have found out is that life is very expensive here even if i don’t have to pay a rent and they give me food but because i like my kind of food and buy my own i’m practically with the same amount of money with which i came from sicily that my family had given to me!so apart from learning the irish way of thinking and living and learning to cope with lonliness and little
money I’m not winning my job is extremely difficult and the money is so little….some times I feel a weight on my heart thinking that I won’t see my family for a long time and at the uncertainty of my future as an aupair job isn’t forever and there ’s no guarantee that i will find another job soon after this one….so I’m torn between the necessity of saving as much money as possible and the curiosity and interest of visiting all the places of interest nearby besides cork and dublin I haven’t been anywhere else so i guess i should visit places that won’t cost me a lot places that i could visit going with the car like clokanilty for example, which is the closest beach and place….killarney is a park a beautiful places with lakes ecc but i guess it would cost me a lot to go by bus i have to ask if i can go with the car there cause it’s an hour away….for the moment it’s blarney castle!I’ll put some photos on the site when I’ll get back.
I can’t help noticing that the Irish feel different from the english but they r not as different as they think and i can say this objectively as an outsider: they are as organised and detached as the english are they are just more outsiders regarding
transportation and technology in fact the have a more rural approach to life for what I can see bit the difference between sicily is huge although my irish friend said that “ireland is the sicily of uk” I am willing to absorb the organisation mentality albeit I suffer for their detached way of being kind-although kinder than italians or sicilians, the lack of passion puzzles me as puzzles me seeing people on the street approaching me with how are you…is it to late for me at the age of 35 to learn to be different?I can’t understand why I can’t find those family pictures of mine that I cherish so much I have been looking for them al day! where r they? god only knows if I need to know where they r in moment like this when I feel so lonely…visiting places and writing is a way to avoid feeling so lonely and worried…I made a friend who invited me over her house for dinner, she’s an ingeneer of my age who is married with kids…this does not prevent me for feeling lonely anyway besides, eating watching tv and getting fat travelling is another thing that I like a lot I’m not makng money anyway with this job!I’ll get back to watch tv at least there’s something funny on tv(friends, got satellite tv). See you when I’m back from blarney castle with the photos.
write to me if you are either irish scottish or english and tell me if u find any differences between these nationalities and why especially on a personal level.

I was there!

I have never heard chris saying the “f” word before , he was kind of flirting with the audience and by the screams you realize that we enjoyed it from the beginning to the end

I am back from the coldplay concert: I have died and gone to heaven:absolutely spectacular! the best entertainment and night ever in my whole life the excitment the fun was extreme..here’s a sample….

On
monday I will be attending in dublin the coldplay concert: this gives you the idea of what excited and desperate people like me can achieve with modern technolegy…..let me at leat dream will you?

So tiny and fragile,
I feel like a cobweb,
water sprinkles on me carelessly
I dangle on the wall try to get myself together
I live unnoticed I hang on the walls,
a peripheric life it is
I hope not to be seen by you
or you would kill me….
so I keep hanging around,
aloof I stand better be unnoticed
than to your eyes outstand
it is the price of life to which I hold on too
so dearly yet precariously
patiently I build my pattern
slide down and then up I spider go again
not dangerous but surely disgraceful
not becoming to anyone’s eyes
hoping you not care too much
to cleanse all the impurity of my contradictions
for so often we destroy what we love the most.

In my life I felt as if I were blind
sleeping my days away
just to take all my troubles away
I don’t know what I’m going to do next
I feel so lonely and alone
an anguish seizes me so in the morning when I wake up
Think of my family think about you
who denied your love to me
took my heart and tore it to peaces
out here on my own I get the feeling
I will never be home
so fragile so sensitive,
growing old before ever feeling young
and free just to fly like a bee
from one flower to another
without trouble, enjoy myself
I feel as even air was denied to me
my whole life, I’ve been looking for somebody like you
to fill me with thought and dreams
ideas love and beauty
and adventure too
but I’m not good enough for you
this the story of my life
born to be denied by everybody
I am too good or not good enough,
to dependent or too independent
too needy and fragile
everybody for me to decide they want
all I know that I need love
feel alive and free
and this continously is denied to me
let me decide to live or die
cause if I were independent I would be chased
this neediness traps me so
for I know, the moment I’ll feel free I would be trapped for good.